Snow day, NOT!

I was right, I always jinx myself. Ugh! The snow didn't start until late morning and then the temps never made it below 33 so nothing was sticking. Of course, all the kids got off from school, but the government was open. So I went in and was totally a grouch all day. I had a bunch of meetings to cover and our team got a ton of work out of them. And all I could think about all day was going back to bed and how I could be a weather man and do a better job than the clowns I watch on Fox5.

Oh well, maybe it'll ice up tonight and I can at least go in late so I can sleep in a bit tomorrow morning.

And I said that I wanted to start posting a daily update on the weight loss stuff. I am on track to stay at 1100 calories today and I am headed downstairs at 7pm to work out on the treadmill tonight. I hope it is one of those effortless run/walks. I would really hate it if my body fought me tonight. Tomorrow I'll talk more about how I am interval training on the treadmill and staying motivated. A friend asked how I do it since I don't 'go' to a gym anywhere but just do it at my house. The first hint is to come home and put the workout clothes on immediately and eat early. That way the stupid sports bra is uncomfortable until I go work out and then I can shower and change into my warm, snuggly pj's. More hints and thoughts tomorrow.

Snow day!

Based on the weather forecast for tomorrow, it looks like we might get a rather unexpected snow day. They are calling for something like a foot of snow. That would be a doozy for this area. We can't handle two inches most of the time. I will probably end up staying up late to watch the forecast and wait for the snow to start. But then again, every time I do that it seems to jinx the forecast and I just end up worn out and have to put in a full day at work anyway.

Here's hoping that I can play hookey in the snow tomorrow.

Oh, and I am down another pound (even after a not so great weekend). So total is 15 pounds since 1/9/05. I may start posting daily on my menus and routines so that I have a central place to store the information. I have gotten away from the daily weigh-in's that just generally pissed me off. Now, I am thinking that Sunday or Monday should be my official weigh in day. The only problem is that it is at the end of a weekend (but that might also help me stay on track during the weekend) ;)

Hi ho, hi ho, it's back to work I go...

That flu really did kick my butt for a few days, but I'm back to almost 100%. I spent the first day asleep for 20 of the 24 hours. Although it sure didn't help that I couldn't sleep last night. 6am came around very early this morning and DC traffic was a nightmare (what else is new). All that aside, I have good news to report.

I am down a total of 14 pounds since January 9. It is starting to feel real and feel good. I am sticking to the low fat/low cal plan with as much exercise as I can fit into my schedule. I have a feeling that my goals are actually acheiveable. I don't know how to link to a spreadsheet yet, so here is the summary of my goal list:

SW: 228
CW: 214
GW: 160-165

Interim Goals
3/20/05: 210
4/27/05: 199 (5 year anniversary and trip to Vegas)
9/5/05: 185
12:25:05: 175

I am ahead on my first couple of goals, but that is ok since I assume that after the first 20 pounds it only gets harder from there!

2/17 update

I am down another 2 pounds, yeah!

Real estate exam prep is going slower than I expected :(

The stupid monkey at work is getting laid off tomorrow!

I am getting a touch of the flu, so this weekend may be a bust. We had great plans and Monday off, but I have a feeling that I will be laid up in bed for most of it. I think I am running myself down too much and the fluctuating weather in DC lately has not helped. Maybe I'll go ahead and take tomorrow off and make it a 4-day weekend. That sounds like a good plan to me.

That's it for now...

Who's under 100 lbs?

Was the Yahoo headline this morning.

My response: Who gives a fuck who is under 100lbs? Is this the first thing I need to see when I get up in the morning? I'll pass thank you.

Here's a link to the story.

Question of the day...

Would a vegetarian eat a meat-eating plant (venus fly trap)?

Just a thought.

Realization

While talking with a friend the other day, we were saying how its hard to get to know someone from just reading their blog b/c its not an accurate picture of them. It struck me that this page is not for others to get to know me, but for ME to get to know me. One sweet little space to gather all my thoughts on my own personal Journey.

Does Dance Dance Revolution come in 'idiot'?

I guess I've missed the boat and the fleeting days of my youth have passed me by (cue sappy violins)... But really, our friends got the Dance Dance revolution game and two game mats for the Playstation. And last week we tried it out and found that it was highly addictive (even in beginner mode).

What has it taught me: 1) I am out of shape 2) I am much less coordinated than I was when I was younger 3) I want to be good at that stupid game and I don't really know why. So much in fact, that when we were out this weekend celebrating DH's birthday at Dave & Buster's I wanted to sit and stare at the talented/lifeless people who were actually good at following the arrows with their coordinated feet.

email from the social worker

I got a surprise email last night from the SW who completed our homestudy for the adoption. Of course, when I see who the message is from, I can't help my heart from fluttering due to the off chance that they might have news on a match for us.

Usually it ends up being that there are residual questions or more money to dish out; but to my surprise she was just checking in on us. A very kind gesture on her part, especially since her 'role' in the adoption is done (for now).

Snappy comebacks

Unfortunately, I find that I need to be armed with these more often than I would like.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What great people you are to take this poor little child into your home."
What a great child this is to come to our poor little home.

"How much did she/he cost?"
She's priceless. Why do you ask? (just in case they're potential A-parents)

"I could never adopt. I just couldn't love a child that's not my own."
Fortunately, this is our child and we love her.

"I would like to adopt, but I don't think I could be comfortable with a child of a different race."
Fortunately for us, the only children available are from the human race.


------------------------------------------------------
*Four Adoption Terms Defined*

Natural child:
any child who is not artificial.

Real parent:
any parent who is not imaginary.

Your own child:
any child who is not someone else's child.

Adopted child:
a natural child, with a real parent, who is all my own.

Trying to keep my promise

Which I assure you is not easy to do, nor have I been all that successful with keeping promises in the past. So consider that your fair warning.

Weight: stagnant. Basically, I am eating well, few splurdges, adding more workouts and the damn pounds aren't coming off the scale. Oh well.

Real estate class: Finished the last major chapter. Now it is on to studying the outline, reviewing the practice tests, taking more tests and applying to sit for the exam. I hope I can get it done before the end of March.

Adoption: I covered that in my last post... WAIT.

Maybe it's time to talk about why I am really here...

Funny, that I titled my blog and gave it a paragraph description about something I haven't yet posted about. It may take more than one post to cover it all...

I should start from the beginning, but instead I will start from the end, or the current state, or whatever you want to call it.

So we're waiting. I guess that is all we've done for years is wait. But here I sit, waiting. We're on the books. That is what those in the adoption community call it when the paperwork is complete/approved and you are waiting to be matched with a child. For us, we went with a domestic, newborn program at an adoption agency in our state. We made it on the books in September, 2004 (so that makes our official wait time at about 4 months). The paperwork and homestudy weren't so bad.

All that pains me is the time. Time we wasted with doctors, specialists, nurses, lab technicians, more doctors. I guess the time and the unknown is what really pains me. The unknown of a sketchy IF diagnosis, unknown of when or whether things will all work out in the end. Now, everyone says "don't worry, it's just a matter of time (not if, but when)". Ugh! I hate that almost as I hated hearing "just relax it will happen".

IF was a huge shock to us. We started TTC over 3 years ago... After a year, we went to the dr. Just like all the textbooks say. We did a few cycles on Clomid (though I was ovulating just fine), and then were referred to a specialist. Spent 6 months testing with the RE. Diagnosis, slight male factor.

The RE began the treatments. We started with 1 natural IUI, then 1 clomid IUI, then 1 injectible IUI, then 1 IVF/ICSI converted to IUI due to poor response, then 2nd IVF/ICSI, then 1 FET, and then the realization that nothing may ever work hit us. This was 3 years worth of shots, crying, pain, tests, poking, prodding, insanity, you name it. It drove my husband and I apart. It brought us together. The same with family and friends. And the secrets, the lying, the explaining, the justifying, the abomination of it all.

And last but not least, the waiting. Wait to test, wait for AF, wait for the bloodwork, wait till you have the money (self-pay is an awful way to suffer thru IF), wait till you have the time, wait till you can emotionally handle another cycle, wait till you can't wait anymore.

The rest is to be continued...

Weight loss update

Doing well on the eating healthy, taking my vitamins and working out 2-3 times per week. I am down 8 pounds since Jan. 9th and feeling really great about it. I think the key to my success this time around is that I have actually documented my goals (and kept them realistic). I have everything tracked in a spreadsheet and somehow it makes the goals seem so much more attainable and makes me accountable on a daily/weekly basis.

I want to get in the habit of posting daily... Even if it is just a status on something going on in my life.

Little House on the Prairie

Why is it that a grown, professional woman (like me, for instance) likes to revert to childhood so much that her favorite program is still Little House on the Priaire. I have the 5th and 6th seasons of DVD's coming from eBay soon (because I have all the other seasons already, lol). I can watch a marathon of these shows and not even realize that time has actually passed.

I can't be the only one, can I???

Someone please, validate this for me! Tell me you watch it, or would watch it, or for god's sake lie to me.