Fate and free will

This one might ramble a little, but here goes. Like I said in an earlier post, I think that the topic of fate deserves its own thread. When talking with the social worker I told her I didn't believe in fate. She was shocked and commented that '[she] absolutely believes in it'. I recognize that it isn't all or nothing, but it is a lot easier to believe that if a) you have very strong religious convictions or, b) you have been generally blessed in your life.

And I promise you one thing. I will never, ever, ever say to other hopeful adoptive parents (if this adoption thing ever happens) that it was fate, or that the right baby was waiting to find me, or that when the day arrives it makes all the pain and agony of the process and the waiting go away or even diminish. I will never belittle the pain (no matter how happy I am for the moment I get the call) of the others. I hate when people say or post that. I mean hate them. Almost as much as the 'just wait, now you'll get pregnant'. I don't think that I am a bitter person. But this IF shit really leaves a mark. One that is not going to disappear once that baby is in your arms. I will celebrate the baby while still mourning my internal losses and licking my wounds. It will become a part of who I am.

Fate and Free will
I guess that I don’t believe in most things I can’t prove. Free will is something that I have found necessary to back up many of my tenets on life… and it’s hard to defend any of the notions that humanity cherishes without it. Free will, as I define it, is the ability to act according to your own desires or decisions. Such a definition is not too hard to believe.

My concern has been to keep the concept of free will in an age of science and mechanics. Dealing with the first half of free will (acting according to your own desires) immediately challenges us. We each have a set of desires that compels us to act and behave in certain ways. But just because we have these desires, we have to wonder how these desires are “unique” and “individual”. We all seem to have them. And acting according to innate desires and instincts seems more apt to support a world of predestination than metaphysical freedom. Most animals, who we have always denied the property of free will, act almost entirely on instinctive patterns and predictable behavior.

Humans, who are capable of pondering their own existence, wonder about themselves a lot. We have the ability to roll problems and issues over inside our heads, analyze, think critically. These facilities, which are intimately tied to our consciousness, seem very much controlled by each person’s mind. As such, it seems natural to feel that we have the freedom to control our outcome. This is the side of free will (acting according to our decisions) that seems to support free will.

But perhaps free will is merely a name we’ve given to a tool that has developed for our survival. We are creatures that can advance quickly, meet extreme challenges because we are designed to look at a situation and “solve” problems. When we have solved a problem, we act accordingly… and it seems like a tremendously personal behavior. So we call it “free will”.

Maybe this view of free will isn’t as grand as the mysterious view taken by mystics… but it’s at least plausible. I defend my belief in free will despite the fact that I can’t prove its existence. But through defining it as a survival mechanism it does not seem as far-fetched and contradictory to my general view on beliefs.

We are all influenced by our surroundings, from political environment to parental examples. Understanding and valuing this free will is important because it implores us to take responsibility for our actions and fate. While it is more mechanical than commonly perceived, it demands us to not fall prey to apathy … which is the enemy of successful survival. We must teach our kids to believe in the importance of wise decision-making and prudent actions. We must encourage them to seek excellence and to excel at everything they do. If you don’t believe in free will then you can’t honestly implore them to get any better because you believe that their course has already been set.

Besides, if there is no free will, and everything is predetermined… I had no choice in my belief in free will to begin with. I had to believe it.