That which does not kill us...

...makes us stronger, or at the very least clinically insane. My long journey through infertility, adoption (and now parenting), and weight loss.

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one!' - C.S. Lewis

9/30/2005

Crazy week here

So I suck at updating. I am honestly looking forward to a few days in the office soon, so I can reclaim a little of me and my life. Don't get me wrong, I have done my best to cherish every moment at home with Jackson, but it will be good for my soul...

I don't know why, but I can't seem to keep afloat this week. Jacksonis great and sleeping until 5-6am every night. But I seem to be more tired than ever. I did a yard sale last weekend and took Jackson to an old town fair too. Then we have had a couple of errands each day this week, so that has zapped my energy too. He also went to the DR today for another shot. And this one was worse on him than the other4 combined two weeks ago.

I also have been making arrangements since I go back to work theTuesday after Columbus Day :( So that is weighing on my mind. DH just got a new job offer, but he was waiting to hear on one more before making a decision. I want him to wait on this other one because it has more potential, a little more money, and is close to the day care ladies house... I hope they call today or Monday so he can make a rational decision based on both offers. Keep your fingers crossed for him.

I am also doing a LOT of soul searching about where I want to raise my child/children. And it is NOT here in the DC area. I hate the traffic, the rude people, the hustle and bustle, etc. So, I think that DH and Iare going to look at moving back to the area where I grew up. Well, just outside that area on a lake there. It is quiet,waterfront, but close enough to a medium city that there is shopping, entertainment, jobs, etc. So now I am investigating whether I should go ahead and buy some land and then save up to build a house in a few years or what. We could have a good house (maybe not as nice as here, but what do I need with all this space), a boat, some jet skis, etc. DH is worried about finding good jobs, but I keep telling him that nothing will ever be like here where we both make fantastic money. I don't mind doing real estate or managing a hotel or something there as long as he understands that he might have to take a pay cut for doing the same computer job he has here. Then with the equity from this house, we would have a sizable down payment on a house there. Then the mortgage would be doable. Then Jackson could play outside and go to the public schools, and I could probably work part time and be there for him. I know I am idealizing this somewhat, but it has been on mind for a couple of years now. I also think that if I bust my ass, I can pay off all our notes (except the main mortgage) in a couple of years. The car and the equity line of credit is all we have left right now. Then I can also get back to saving fora rainy day instead of putting it all away for adoption/infertility. I know I am rambling, but I haven't talked this out really with anyone but DH.

9/11/2005

2 months old tomorrow

I can't believe it, and then again I totally can. He will be two months old tomorrow. I have a ped. appointment later in the week for his shots and checkup and I have found a great in home day care provider for when I have to go back to work next month.

Jackson is becoming such the little man. The sleep deprivation is almost gone (for me that is). He is typically only up once a night; that is unless he napped poorly during the day. He laughs, smiles, coos, and says ooh ahh and blurp. We finally have pics with a smile on his face. HEck he even went to his first college football game yesterday and literally stole the show.

I am both looking forward to and dreading going back to work. But at least I will be working from home 2 days per week for a while. Even in my home time I am staying pretty busy. Thus the lack of posts. Can't promise when it'll get more regular.
 
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