Don't know how to feel

I opened my email last night and had a message from our attorney. She was letting me know that she is basically done with our adoption case and is sending the final bit of paperwork to us in the next week. I also assume that this means we might actually have some money coming back to us, since I think of that last installment there might be $3-4k left.

But she also attached a document that had an available adoption situation from a colleague of hers. In fact, it was the attorney that represented our birthmother. This situation is perfect, everything we were looking for the first time around. My heart was racing, I was excited, nervous, sad all at the same time. We aren't in a place to adopt again this quickly. Jackson just turned 7 months old. It will take us a while to recover from the $35k for the adoption but just that there was a situation coming to us out of the clear blue sky made me think long and hard. DH was hesitant to even consider another child or adoption, but even he said 'you want to do it again this soon'. Not if we wanted to do it all, but this soon.

I know in my heart that we have to let this one pass us by, but I am excited to know that the next time around (and I am more confident now that there will be a next time around) that there are good situations out there. And we seem to be on a couple of short lists, which makes me even happier. I told the attorney to keep us on that distribution for good.