That has been my mantra lately. Avoidance and assumption that unless I hear otherwise, things can't hurt me.
A lot has been going on, so much so that I can't even convey the magnitude of it all. The short of it is that I am in a funk. Plain and simple. And since lists and order are my sanity, here goes:
Good stuff
- Another interview in the dream city. I think that they are going to offer me the job
- Almost a whole year since my precious baby was born and he gets more fun by the minute
- I am on a plan to be debt free (thanks to D@ve R@msey) . Paid off $5k since April and will have paid the rest off (besides the house) by December 2006 (another $33k)
- Weight loss has been maintained for the most part
- Telecommuting and flextime at work has been amazing
- Less fighting in the house these days. I am just too tired to argue :)
Not so good stuff
- I am scared to death of actually getting this new job. Moving, buying and selling houses, packing, DH doesn't have a job lined up there, changes my debt free timeline significantly since it will be a pay cut, etc.
- Overwhelmed and exhausted trying to stay on top of everything. I keep telling DH i need some help, but it doesn't seem to be getting through
- Weight loss has only been maintained and I need to get the rest of it off. It is like another thing on my list I can't check off, something I have failed at
- Currently in a huge funk at my job. They made a new position for me but now it is on hold so I am stuck in the same routine and bored and unfulfilled and you get the idea. This is a death sentence for someone like me. But I am too fearful to look for something else
- DH took his first exam in pursuance of the MCSE (computer cert.) He failed. I knew he would. I wanted him to. I am so going to hell for that.
Sometimes it just helps to get it all out there. I don't even understand my own motivations sometimes. I need to figure out what actually makes me happy and go for it. The scariest thing of all is that I think that being unhappy is what makes me happy.
